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Part I
By: AW Disclaimer: I don't own the people or the episodes but the story is mine. The darkness surrounded her, and she just waited. It had been three hours since her crew had arrived in the Alpha Quadrant. She stared out at the landscape that was San Francisco from the silence of her room, and just waited. As she always did. She had insisted that the rest of the crew get checked out, and debriefed before her. And so she waited. There was a knock on the door of the small room she occupied. Chakotay walked into the room looking at her silently. "Kathryn, it's your turn." He paused feeling the need to explain himself to her despite everything and in lieu of the years of service he had provided her. "They insisted on full medicals for the entire crew and that had taken longer than expected. I apologize for making you wait so long." Kathryn laughed. "You make it sound like it's your fault. I'm sure you had nothing to do with it," she paused. "Well I hope you didn't because if you did, be sure I'll find out. I still have my ways Chakotay." Chakotay smiled. Still the same Kathryn Janeway. Still the same woman, but for how much longer? Would ground bound life change her? The idea of no longer being in the sky, no longer being transported from place to place in a vessel that was for all rights and purposes hers. Would it change her? Of course it would. Life changes people in all of the different ways it happens. Life changes people and makes them different people. Kathryn Janeway had changed a lot over the seven years they had been in the Delta Quadrant. So had he; so had they all. And yet she hadn't. In so many ways she was the same Kathryn Janeway, dedicated to Starfleet and all the ideals that it represented. Even if, when it came down to it, that institution ended up hurting her. He watched her exit the room. This would be some checkup. The Doctor, (their doctor) had had enough trouble getting her to give in to simple yearly exams. This one was so much more extensive. It was intended to heal all the beatings and batterings her body had taken over the past seven years. And seven years was a long time for which to compensate for bad health and coffee overconsumption. And he knew that she had had her fair share of both during their time in the Delta Quadrant. All that was left to do was wait. *~*~*~*~* Kathryn had not been to Starfleet medical in longer than she could remember. It had been the seven years she had been in the Delta Quadrant and she couldn't even explain how long it had been before that. She walked into a large white room and waited. A red-headed Doctor poked her head out of the back room and she immediately identified her as Dr. Beverly Crusher, former doctor of the Enterprise E. Kathryn got up to shake this woman's hand, and Beverly put a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to get up. I'll get this done and over with as quickly as possible. Your First Officer told me how much you despise doctors and doctors' visits." Kathryn turned a dark shade of pink, blushing at the idea that Chakotay had sold her out to the Doctor. "I don't mean to be rude when I say that, I just don't like the things associated with doctors. Needles, checkups, being injured…because that's normally the only reason I have to be in a doctor's office." Beverly Crusher laughed. This woman did not seem larger than life, she was just a woman who had been caught in a bad situation and who was finally aloud to let her guard down. "No offence taken Captain, I know a lot of people don't like to visit the doctor. Just sit down and I'll try to make this as painless as possible." Kathryn was about to answer when she saw the twinkle in the woman's eye and realized her sense of humor, and her comments for what they were: jokes. Beverly took out her instruments and started the examination. She recognized the nanoprobes in her bloodstream for what they were: leftovers of a Borg Assimilation. She had read some of the logs the Captain had brought back with her and knew about Unimatrix Zero, and the attempts to destroy the Borg Collective; this woman was ambitious. She scanned her from head to toe, signs of abuse to her body from improper care for so many years were evident. Beverly shook her head, these ‘Captains’, they were all the same: stubborn. She scanned her and found something very strange though, something she hadn't expected...the Captain was pregnant. Beverly took a closer look at her scans. This was no normal pregnancy though; this fetus was not only not completely human, but it was the beginning of a Borg Drone. Had the Collective finally found a different method of bearing their offspring, of bringing more drones into the world? She had scanned Lieutenant Torres' baby from head to toe and had not seen the same things within the child, but perhaps she had not been looking closely enough or for the right thing. She tapped her commbadge, "Admiral, I'm almost done here with the Captain, is it possible for you to send in Lieutenant Torres and her baby for one more scan?" Beverly knew that this woman, Kathryn Janeway's former Chief Engineer, had also been assimilated...somewhat. This crew had created a very ingenious vaccine that had allowed them to enter the Borg Collective as drones but still keep their individuality intact. It was quite amazing and quite ingenious. She was awed in some ways by the lengths these people had gone to, to keep themselves alive in the Delta Quadrant. The breakthroughs made by their doctor...or EMH, although after seven years of being online and the mobility he had achieved through the mobile emitter, she wasn't sure what to consider him. Beverly completed her scan, this woman was for the most part in good health. She needed to get more sleep and drink less coffee, but that was true for so many people. She turned to the Captain, "Captain, you are for the most part in good health. More sleep, less coffee, I'm sure you've heard it before." Janeway just nodded her head, "Yes doctor, my Doctor, was adamant about downing my coffee intake." She chuckled, "Am I free to go now?" Beverly looked uncomfortably at Janeway, "Well there is on thing we have to discuss first." Janeway looked at her confused. "You said I was in good health...what's wrong?" Beverly drew in a breath not quite sure how to tell this woman who had endured so much in the last seven years that her life was about to change forever again. "You're pregnant...but it isn't a normal pregnancy." Janeway's jaw dropped. "What do you mean I'm pregnant?" Beverly paused. "Well the child appears to be half human half...must be a Delta Quadrant species, I've never seen this gene sequence before." She took in a deep breath, "But that's not what's so interesting about this pregnancy." Before Beverly could continue, Kathryn piped in still unbelieving of the facts. "What do you mean I'm pregnant? I haven't been with anyone." Then Kathryn's brain kicked into gear giving her the only possible explanation, "Jaffin." Beverly looked at this poor broken woman before her. "What I was saying was, that's not what's so interesting about this pregnancy." Janeway looked up. "Yes Doctor, what is so interesting that it caught your eye?" Dr. Crusher, looked to Captain Janeway, "The baby's body is swarming with Borg nanoprobes." She paused, "Unlike in your body where they're dormant, they are quite active in the baby's body. It's almost as if...as if it were a virus dominating the baby's immune system." Kathryn was speechless. She shook her head. "What about Miral? Is she okay?" Beverly held her breath, "I honestly don't know. That's why I asked Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres to come back with their baby. I wasn't looking for that before, and I don't think your Doctor was either. It could have been overlooked." Kathryn took in a deep breath, "Well then why did you find it in me?" Beverly Crusher was not above admitting when it was a fluke. "You had a small imbalance in your level of hormones. I assumed given your age," she paused hoping she had not insulted the Captain, "it was menopause related. The last thing I expected was a baby, and a Borg baby none-the-less." Kathryn covered her face with her hands and resisted the urge to burst into tears. She had to talk to someone; but who? She thanked Doctor Crusher for her diligence and her discretion in not revealing her condition until she had time to get used to her condition, and left Starfleet medical. Her first instinct was to go to Chakotay, he had been her friend, her confidant and her first officer for seven years, but she knew this would break his heart, and hers. She had figured that maybe when they got home and Voyager was finally a thing in the past, maybe they could get it together and work it through. But then there was Seven, and now there was a baby. This would change everything. Her next thought was to go see Tom and B'Elanna, but if B'Elanna had the same problem she did, which was entirely possible, they'd have their own things to worry about. Then there was Tuvok, who had made his way to Vulcan to get cured by his son and treated with the fal-tor-voh. Janeway walked through the gardens of Starfleet headquarters contemplating everything. How would she deal with this? Without thinking or realizing what she had done, she ended up outside his door with her finger on the doorbell. Before she had a chance to ring the bell she fled in horror. There was no way Chakotay would understand...well not until she had figured it out herself. Then she remembered the message that had been transmitted to everyone. Should they need to talk to someone about the horrors of the Delta Quadrant, Councellor Troi, of the Starship Enterprise was available 24/7. It was 0300 now. Whether or not to disturb the councellor at this time of night was something she had carefully considered after hours of walking the Starfleet gardens. She reached Deanna Troi's temporary quarters, the quarters that were available to her while she treated the Voyager crew and rang the chime. She covered her face with her hands, and waited. The door opened and a very tired looking Deanna Troi appeared. "Captain Janeway!" Troi sounded surprised despite her sleep deprived state. "What can I do for you?" Janeway held her breath and let it out slowly. "May I speak with you? Or is it too late?" Janeway hesitated, "Never mind I don't know what I was thinking coming to see you at 0300, I apologize for the inconvenience." Troi felt the pain and confusion permeating the body of the great Kathryn Janeway and knew she needed to talk to someone. Being so isolated for so many years had no doubt left her very self-reliant and with no one to turn to. Deprogramming this woman would be difficult. Teaching her to trust again and that she wasn't alone anymore would be near impossible. Seven years was a long time to forget. She reached out to Kathryn Janeway, "Captain, it's no problem. Please come in and sit down. I made myself available to your crew 24/7 and that means you as well." Janeway slowly made her way into the Councellor's quarters. Deanna spoke up, "Captain would you like something to drink?" Janeway just looked up, "Just coffee please...black if you don't mind." Deanna nodded. "No problem Captain." Janeway looked to this kind woman before her, "Just Kathryn now please, I have been the Captain for too long without letting myself take a break. Tonight I need to be just Kathryn." Deanna Troi looked at her, this could be a long conversation. "All right Kathryn, why don't you tell me what's going on. What was so urgent that it needed to be discussed immediately." Kathryn sat down on the couch and began the story, how she found out she was pregnant, how this could be a Borg child, how it was against her moral ethics to abort a child growing inside her. Finally how alone she felt, since Chakotay had decided that he was going to date Seven: her protégée and the closest thing she had thought she would ever have to a child. She began to cry silent tears that had not been aloud escape since before she had been stranded in the Delta Quadrant, and all of a sudden Deanna was glad that she had chosen to answer the door. Because this woman definitely needed someone to talk to, and a shoulder to cry on. Deanna looked at her. Now she had the background behind her peril, now the question was what did she want to do about it? "What do you want to do about everything Kathryn? You've told me about how it happened, about Quarren and the reason you are with child right now." She paused and looked deep into this woman's eyes. "The question is what do you want to do?" Kathryn paused, thinking about it. Then she turned towards Deanna Troi, "Honestly...I don't know." Kathryn spoke to Deanna for a while longer, trying to sort through her doubts, her feelings of dread, her un-requited love for her commander. So many things: so little time. By the time sunrise came, Kathryn was talked out. The good thing about this conversation was the confidentiality issue. Nothing said to either Deanna Troi or Beverly Crusher could be repeated without her express permission. Somehow that didn't make her feel any better. She knew that she could get rid of her problem, before anyone even knew she was pregnant. No baby; No problem. But she couldn't do it. No matter what, it wasn't this child's fault, and she couldn't go ahead and end a life for her own convenience. She had to stay in San Francisco, just for a few more hours, there was going to be a ceremony where all the promotions would be put forth. She had recommended all of her senior staff to go beyond where they were, and many of the junior officers as well. A few more hours, then she could go to Indiana, and then the explanations would really have to begin. Her mother would no doubt have questions. Then she thought about Chakotay, he deserved to hear this first hand too, he had been her best friend for far too long to hear it through the grapevine. After the ceremony she would tell him, but she didn't want to tell Seven; She had to get him alone. He owed her at least a couple of hours, after she gave him seven years. He owed her at least that much. She hoped. TBC in part II |