By:AW

Published in Unicorn Press. Editor: Nancy Border & Pat
Hayden.

You can buy it from Unicorn Press @
http://members.aol.com/UnicrnPrs/press.htm

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I don’t own idea
of Star Trek: Voyager. I just own the story.

Date With Destiny II

4. Emergence & Abolishment

Kathryn immersed herself in a land without emotion. She had thought that living in an environment where emotion had been abolished was the answer. Without emotions she could not feel; without feelings, she could not experience. Problem was, every time her child kicked she felt a sense of pride. Every time she had an ache brought on by the pregnancy, her thoughts
went back to life with this child, and the loneliness without her…and every time she felt alone, she thought of Chakotay. Could she do this? Did she have a choice? Was she that strong?

They walked through the streets of Amora, the city on Vulcan where Tuvok lived. He had been a gracious host; he had lived up to all expectations she had had of him. Now nearing her seventh month, Kathryn was getting heavy with child, and he now wondered if he had been correct in housing her during these precious months. She had not told him who the child’s father was, but he knew. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had sense the tension between the two of them during their years on Voyager, and he had always known that one day it would come to blows. He had always known, and he knew now. He had half a mind to contact Captain Chakotay and tell him where Kathryn was, but he could not betray her confidence. She was one of his oldest and dearest friends, and she had helped him more times than he could count. She had gone after him when no one else would have. And now, when she asked this little thing in return, he could not deny her. He cared for her, and wondered about her well-being. He also asked himself if she could live without the child she carried. He knew of her plan to give the child up,
but he had a feeling that this decision was one based on fear. Kathryn Janeway had never been one to cave under pressure of fright, but no one, but no one, not even the great Kathryn Janeway could take the hardships she had endured, and he had no doubts in his mind that Kathryn had just about reached her breaking point.

/\/\

Chakotay had not heard from Kathryn since she had left him that message those seven months ago. Since the day she had told him she could not deal with him and she had walked out of his life forever. He had searched for her, but had not found her. He had looked to the ends of the earth for her, but had not had any luck in locating her. He feared the worst and prayed wherever she was that she was well. Even if they were not together he needed to know she was all right.

That night he contacted his spirit guide, and walked through the forest where his quest had left him. He recognized the forest…it was New Earth. He knew that whenever he saw the planet from all those years ago, it represented something to do with Kathryn. He saw his spirit guide, the gray she-wolf; she lay silent and refused to speak to him. She merely pointed a path. He followed the path cleared in the underbrush unsure of what to find. He sensed a soul lost, and saw a small animal. It was a small green lizard; he was wounded. Chakotay picked the little animal up and felt the steady pulse. Kathryn is alive. Yes the animal bled.

He sent out a prayer, let her be all right. Kathryn let me help you. He was smiled upon by the wolf, and he knew eventually that all would be well, or so he hoped.

Kathryn went on, and on and on as she always did. She spent her life going on, making herself believe that she was okay even if she wasn’t. Kathryn had to believe that. She had lived a life full of ambitions, but lonely. Those who could not handle her, those who could not deal with her ambitions, those who had loved her and whom she had let go.

Kathryn was lonely, and for the first time in her life she was realizing that it didn’t have to be that way; that there had always been someone, someone she could let in but many times she didn’t. She needed to find that someone to love, but when she thought about it…he had always been right there, before her very eyes, she just hadn’t been able to see it, or she hadn’t let herself see it. Kathryn Janeway had not fallen, she had tripped, and now it was time for her to stumble to her feet and make her life hers again. The Captain was no longer, but Kathryn was here, as Kathryn had always been. She was more than the sum of her parts for the first time in a long time she was realizing just that. Kathryn would prevail.

/\/\

Chakotay looked at the lizard he had been holding, nurturing for a good three hours in the spirit realm. All of a sudden the color cam back, and the lizard
looked like it had started on the road to health. Kathryn would prevail…

TBC in Date With Destiny II - Chapter 5: The Moment of Truth

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