By:AW

Published in Unicorn Press. Editor: Nancy Border & Pat
Hayden.

You can buy it from Unicorn Press @
http://members.aol.com/UnicrnPrs/press.htm

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I don’t own idea
of Star Trek: Voyager. I just own the story.

Date With Destiny I

15. Destiny Fulfilled

She looked up in his eyes. She searched for the truth only he could give her. She searched for the answer in his liquid pools of obsidian. “I…”

I what? She looked at him. “I need you?” She realized it was almost more of a question than a statement.

Chakotay look at her and saw the hesitation. She needs me? Well I guess that’s a start. He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips a soft kiss. It was
kiss full of promise and full of hope. It was the completion of her soul. It was the end of the trek she had searched for, for so long. It was her fate. The kiss deepened. Chakotay’s hands roamed Kathryn’s body, renewing his memory, and restating his claim. She heard her mind cry out, cry out because it had been too long since a man had touched her like this. Crying out because of her love, and crying out because he was going too fast. This was not how she wanted their first meeting, their first time back together to be: hurried and restless.

She pulled away breathless. It was too fast, yet it was one of the most intense kisses she had ever experienced. “Slow down Chakotay. We can’t do it like
this. It’s been four years; we can’t just pick up where we left off. For me, just take is slow.”

He looked and saw her need for a courtship, her need to be desired and to have the dating scene fulfilled. “Alright then Kathryn. Meet me for dinner tonight. Wear that emerald green dress that I always loved. The one you refused to wear when you were gardening because you didn’t want to get it messed up. The one you wore on our last night on New Earth, the end of
our beginning and the beginning of our end. Everything comes full-circle. Consider this your date with destiny, my love.”

She saw the wonderment in his eyes, and knew he was doing his best to fulfill her wishes. “I can’t say yes if you don’t tell me what time.”

Chakotay grinned, his dimples showing and melting her from her head to her toes. “Oh, I don’t know…what do you say about 1900 hours. There’s this great little restaurant, it serves the nicest traditional Indian cuisine…you’ll hate it because it’s vegetarian, but if you’re going to be mine, I suppose you’ll have to get used to it.”

Kathryn had a funny feeling about this. There was something in the pit of her stomach that didn’t feel quite right. But this was what she wanted wasn’t it?
This is what she had waited for, for so many years. This was her salvation…wasn’t it? “I’ll check my schedule. A Captain’s work is never done.” Old habits die hard Kathryn, you can’t hid behind that excuse anymore. She saw the look in his eyes. They had still not discussed what had happened after their return. Chakotay heard what she was saying but something wasn’t quite right. “I thought you were promoted to admiral upon our return?”

Kathryn thought she might cry. So that’s what he thinks I am. Will he want me when I’m not? Does he even know who I am anymore? Do I even know who I am anymore? She felt her stomach creeping up again. “No Chakotay, what ever gave you that idea?”

“That’s what I was told. I was told you had been promoted by Starfleet command, and that you had gone on with your life.”

Kathryn was mortified. He doesn’t know me anymore, maybe he never did. “I was thrown out of Starfleet Chakotay. They needed a scapegoat, and it was me.”

Chakotay felt an unease rise up in him. Who is this person? She must be joking. “No Kathryn, stop kidding with me, it isn’t funny anymore.”

He doesn’t believe me.

Hello
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through to you?

Kathryn heard the words of the ancient earth melody in her head. She felt it was appropriate, she knew it was appropriate…but they had to try, it had been too many years of hope to let go without a fight. “Are you listening to me Chakotay?”

He looked like he was a million miles away. He didn’t answer her, simply stared at her, trying to reach out and touch the woman he used to know, trying to find her hiding in this strangers eyes. Who are you?

/\/\

The child in B’Elanna’s arms started fussing. She looked up and was quiet, until…

/\/\

Kathryn felt the tears flowing. “I’d better get ready for tonight, are we still on?”

He didn’t answer, merely nodded numbly in her direction. Then he spoke. “1900 hours…I love you Kathryn.”

She spared him a look, and walked away.

/\/\

The child cried out seeing more than her little mind could process. She saw the pain and the anguish of two souls knowing who they were or what they wanted. People being in love with the notion of a soul mate; being in love with being in love, but not knowing the true price they paid for this hope. They need this but they can’t have it. It is not meant to be.

Hello?
Is it late there?
Is that laughter on the line?
Are you sure you’re there alone?

Kathryn walked out of her mother’s house and made her way back to the apartment that had become her home over the past years. The soft mist of rain fell in her hair and she felt a presence that wasn’t her own.

Cause I’m
Trying to explain
Something’s wrong,
You just don’t sound the same
Why don’t you?
Why don’t you?
Go outside,
Go outside

Yes you are, yes I am, trying to explain that we aren’t who we think we are. That life isn’t as it should be,it was never supposed to be this way. Or maybe it was, and we’re just paranoid…it has been too long.

She walked through the May showers of Indiana, running through the rain. She removed her shoes and ran trying to recapture the youth she had lost in the pursuit of a dream. It felt as if her whole life had been a dream. She made it, she had made Captain, she had commanded a ship that was beyond the dream…but what had she sacrificed for this dream? Who had paid for her goals?

Me. And I still am.

Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me.
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lips,
Feel lonely and thirsty,
Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the night
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can’t wait ‘til morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain

Kiss the rain

/\/\

The child would not sleep; the child would not eat. She was running a fever. B’Elanna could feel her burning up. She reached over to touch her forehead and watched as he eyes followed her movements, but it was not possible. Windows wide open, but shutters forever closed. Please be all right Kathryn.

/\/\

Kathryn recaptured her youth in ways. She had gained an appreciation of being planet side, she remembered New Earth. His speech; her reaction. She had been in love, but was it simply the last man on earth scenario?

Hello
Do you miss me?
I hear you say you do
But not the way I’m missing you

I miss him, but not the way he misses me. He is in love with me. Am I in love with him? Do I even know what that is anymore?

Kathryn entered her home and showered. She put on the outfit he had requested. She revealed the tattoo she wore on her shoulder that matched his. They had done this on New Earth, a bond, a reminder of the planet; it would bind them together forever. Why? Kathryn had acted, but not thought about what she was doing. She had done things under the assumption of many things. She had never told anyone of the scare that marked her skin and her soul. Who are we?

/\/\

B’Elanna had rushed baby Kathryn to the hospital; she had had a temperature of 104. It was too high; it would not go down. Why? But the child did not seem to suffer, she had quieted down, and now…now what? Harry was at home with Tom, she had hoped that at Starfleet med. they would have been able to do something for her, but for some reason it wouldn’t go down; in fact
it was rising. She was now at 106. They had told her if it kept rising that the child would probably not make it. It had been okay, until the child had begun
to convulse. The beginning of the end for Kathryn.

/\/\

What’s new?
How’s the weather
Is it stormy where you are?
Cause I’m so close but it feels like you’re so far.

Kathryn arrived at the small bistro. Chakotay was waiting for her with an outfit from New Earth. Kathryn had tried to recapture the moment, she had restrung her hair exactly as it had been on that day so many years ago. I’m your Chakotay, but how can I take my place with you, if you don’t know me and I don’t know you…not really, not the way we used to.

Oh would it mean anything
If you knew what I’m left imagining?
In my mind, in my mind
Would you go, would you go?
Kiss the rain

Kiss the rain. (7)

/\/\

The child had finally quieted. The doctors had measured her brain waves, checking for brain activity. They told her the oddest thing. They told her that
Kathryn was partially telepathic. If she lived, she would no doubt develop unusual abilities that were unusually rare among humans. They explained though that they weren’t sure she would make it. The fever had finally gone down but it had left Kathryn weak from the ordeal.

Please be okay, Kathryn.

/\/\

Chakotay and Kathryn enjoyed a nice meal. The tension they felt slowly dissipated throughout the evening. They walked back to his place, she got ready to say goodnight and leave forever. “Kathryn.” He slowly bend down and pressed his lips to hers. There was electricity, the sparks flew and all the sexual tension of the past years was released. They didn’t even make it inside before he started slowly removing the layers of clothing that she had donned for their evening.

I need this, it’s been too long. Kiss the rain.

Chakotay felt her tense then he felt all the tension leave her willing body. I need you Kathryn.

As you fall over me
Think of me, think of me
Think of me, only me

They made love that night unlike anything either had ever experienced. They needed this. They had needed to know. Kathryn had needed to feel him, to feel the contact of flesh on flesh in order to know.

/\/\

Tom had come to the hospital with Harry to meet B’Elanna and to say goodbye to Kathryn. This was it, the end of something beautiful that had become part of their lives. Someone who had depended on them and who
had loved them. Someone who had given herself for the greater good, he had to believe that’s what it was if he would be able to deal with this. We’ll meet again Kathryn.

Tom had tried to go his grieving beforehand. He had tried to put up a strong front for B’Elanna. He had found himself unable to keep all his sorrow in check once he arrived at the hospital and had seen his baby girl for the last time.

B’Elanna gave the child one last kiss on the cheek. The end of a life and a journey that had just barely begun.

As the child drew in her last breaths, B’Elanna turned away and feel into Tom’s arms, mountains of pain falling and turning into an avalanche of sorrow.

Kathryn, you know where you belong. B’Elanna thought these words knowing she would never be guilt free for letting her daughter go, but
acknowledging the need for release and closure. Giving her daughter permission to leave her worldly realm and the pain of her life behind.

Kathryn, we love you, now and forever more.

/\/\

Kathryn felt the presence again and heard the words. Kathryn, you know where you belong. Yes she finally did. She knew why she had done this; she knew why she needed to do this. She had needed to close this chapter in her life; she had needed to write the ending to the Voyager Chapter of her life. Now it had run its course and she had reached completion. Now it was over…and so were they.

She had need to this and so had he, and now…all she knew was that this poem made sense. It was so appropriate, and so she left it for him by his bedside table. She rose and dressed. It was over…

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is
to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing, does nothing,
has nothing and is nothing
He may avoid suffering and sorrow but he
simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love…live
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has
forfeited freedom
Only a person who risks is free (8)

…and she finally was free.

/\/\

She returned to B’Elanna and Tom’s house to thank them for everything, but met instead a note saying they had gone to Starfleet med. My god…what happened? The note was weathered and worn so Kathryn assumed it had survived the storm of two nights ago. She left in a run.

She approached the med. building and waltzed up to the desk requesting where the Paris family emergency was situated. They told her only immediate family was allowed. Kathryn burst past the guards in the main hall, she ran down the hall. She opened the door to see the final breaths of Kathryn Paris. No.

Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me.
Kiss the rain
Whenever I’m gone too long
If your lips,
Feel lonely and tempted,
Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
We’re under the same sky
And the nights
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You can’t wait ‘til morning
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain
Kiss the rain (7)

Kiss the rain.

B’Elanna went to exit the room and ran right into the frail body of Kathryn Janeway. She looked up into her eyes to see the same horror and sorrow reflected back at her. Kathryn. The tears feel, and they held onto each other for dear life. “Why did it have to happen, Kathryn? Why?”

Kathryn had no answer for the grieving woman in front of her. But she did remember the saying that had once plagued her days on Voyager. For one thing to live, another must die. Kathryn had no words that were adequate, they just held each other, falling under their combined weight. They stayed like that for a long time, comfortable in the silence of their minds and the end of an era, each drawing strength from the other.

/\/\

Kathryn had been at the hospital for three hours comforting B’Elanna. In many ways B’Elanna had been Kathryn’s kindred spirit.

Kathryn approached Chakotay’s door. She rang the bell, he was so old fashioned sometimes, but she couldn’t stay here, she needed to get away. She needed to end this, she needed to be ‘Kathryn’ before she could be anyone’s other half, and he was not the other half of her being. Not anymore.

Chakotay opened the door. He was surprised to see Kathryn. After her departure and the note, he had figured he would never see her again. “This is it, isn’t it Kathryn?”

She had tears in her eyes. She nodded. “Yes. We’re not the same people we were then, Chakotay. Circumstances have changed, life has changed, and I’ve
changed. Do you understand?”

He nodded, she knew he heard but he wasn’t listening, this is not what he wanted to hear, and it would take him time, it had taken her four years.

Hello, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me? (7)

She looked at the man, the man who had made her world more bearable for many years. The man she had loved with all her heart and soul. The man she loved more than life itself, but once they had finally gotten their timing right, once they had finally greed they could do this, there had been too much at stake for it to work, and so it hadn’t happened. They had held it at nay for so long, restrained themselves for so many years, that when they finally tried to let go, when they had finally been without the restraints of the ship, of their command relationship, she had realized that there was nothing beyond the tried and true friendship, the deep relationship beyond the tried and true friendship, the deep relationship beyond what lovers could ever have, the physical had done nothing but demean their bond and make it look worthless.

And so, after years of waiting, years of anticipation and years of hope and fears it had come down to this, it just hadn’t been right, and so life went on minus one thing…each other.

“I have to go Chakotay. I do love you, but not this way, I can never be who you need me to be…not anymore.”

When you love someone, you have to set them free….

THE END

TBC in Date With Destiny II - Chapter 1: A New Beginning

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