By:AW

Published in Unicorn Press. Editor: Nancy Border & Pat
Hayden.

You can buy it from Unicorn Press @
http://members.aol.com/UnicrnPrs/press.htm

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I don’t own idea
of Star Trek: Voyager. I just own the story.

Date With Destiny I

9. Learn to be Still

Chakotay sat back in his bed. It had been two years since they had returned to the Alpha Quadrant. Two years since he had left her, two years since he had hoped her voice would be forever silenced in the great expanse of his mind, but it wasn’t. She followed his waking moments. She plagued his sleeping hours, dreams of days that might have been, could have been, should
have been but weren’t. They truly were in wartime. For years now Starfleet analysts had said that the Federation had just about depleted the Dominion’s
reserves, that the war was almost done, but it had just begun. Every time Starfleet got the upper hand, the Dominion matched them and then one-upped them. Yes, Starfleet was a wondrous place to be in times of peace, but in times of war, when the edge was just a little too close to home, it was the last place you wanted to be stuck.

Chakotay made sure that he and Harry had stayed stationed in the same are. On the same ship, in the same battalion, with this at least he held a little
part of Voyager with him forever. He heard an old twentieth century song waft through the halls of their bunker. He knew this was Harry’s way of dealing with the loss of one of his best friends…Tom Paris. When they had been separated those two years ago, Harry had been devastated. This was someone who had given his all, from the beginning. Someone who had looked past Tom’s faults had seen the good in him. Someone who had become one of his closest and dearest friends. Then he had been taken away. Neither of them still had any idea where any of their friends were. They had been so secluded under the ruse of Section 31 for so long now, that they weren’t really sure what was real and what wasn’t.

Then Chakotay heard the haunting melody of a song that Harry played, and Chakotay recognized. It had been one of Tom’s favorites and the lyrics hit a
little too close to home for all of them in this little group. Yes it was a reality check in some ways, and Harry insisted on playing it every day before bed. A little reminder that there was a greater purpose, or that they weren’t wasting their lives away. That there would be happiness and then a reality check again. In all likelihood, they wouldn’t live until the end of this war, and all they could do was hope that somewhere, somehow, sometime, this was making a difference. That the deaths held reason and were not futile.

It’s just another day in paradise
As you stumble to your bed
You’d give anything to silence
Those voices ringing in your head

Chakotay listened; he heard the words, as he had many times before and realized their validity. How true they were in so many ways. It was frightening that a band from o long ago had managed to hit a chord in people of all days. Especially today.

You thought you could find happiness
Just over that green hill
You though you would be satisfied
But you never will –
Learn to be still

Learn to be still. The only satisfaction, the only happiness…the only way that any of them could really learn to be still would be in the end of the war and
then of an era. Or the end of life as they knew it. The end of the suffering, the end of the incessant living of their worst nightmares. Some day, he would learn, and hopefully some day he would find happiness, but it would only be found in one place, in one person, and that person had gone on, had left him
behind, had made a name for herself. Wherever you are Kathryn, I hope you find peace, and I hope you learn to be still.

We are like sheep without a shepherd
We don’t know how to be alone
So we wander ‘round this desert
And wind up following the wrong gods home
But the flock cries out for another
And they keep answering that bell
And one more starry-eyed messiah
Meets a violent farewell
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

Chakotay hummed along with the music…the mellow music of a time long since past. He used to believe in a higher god, a bigger purpose, but why? Why would they let the suffering continue? Why would they separate him from his one true love? One more starry-eyed messiah meets a violent farewell… “Learn to be still.”

Now the flowers in your garden
They don’t smell so sweet
Maybe you’ve forgotten
The heaven lying at your feet
There are so many contradictions
In all these messages we send
We keep asking
How do I get out of here?
Where do I fit in?
Though the world is torn and shaken
Even if you heart is breakin’
It’s waiting for you to awaken
And someday you will –
Learn to be still
Learn to be still

You keep on runnin’
Keep on runnin’ (3)

That’s what Chakotay was always doing, running. Running from his past, running from his present, and running from his future. They were inevitable
intertwined and someday, maybe if he was lucky, they would come to a head, and he would finally learn to be still.

TBC in Chapter 10. Resolutions

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